Fortunately, I have the amazing ability to remain fully engaged in conversation while falling into my own thoughts. ‘When did you say this ‘date’ is suppose to happen?’ I guess a date is any agreed-upon appointment between two or more people. And, it would have to be an appointment, because her new man lives about half a state away. Angie met him while attending a weekend course in Southern California for the bar’s continuing education requirements. And, true to form, she met him in a bar. Angie and I live a couple of miles apart from each other in Northern California, and we have a standing once-a-month dinner date. ‘Saturday night!’ exclaimed Angie. ‘That is only two days away,’ I complained. ‘That is plenty of time for you, because you became a natural writer after helping your kids with so much homework,’ encouraged Angie. ‘Besides, you are very accomplished at this. You wrote a dissertation, and you write children’s books. And don’t you have stories from people you work. Your mouth is slightly open as you take in the view. I want to tell you that all you see is yours, but I don’t want to alarm you. A gold ring (that I never wear) and 20 years separate us. Cultural differences and an economic divide accent the cards that are forever stacked against us. Not for anything but, my heart doesn’t give a rat’s ass about it. I want you so badly.We talk about the deal we closed. I listen to every third word that comes out of your mouth. My heartbeat drowns out the others. I watch your lips, hear the inflections of your voice as I study your shoulders, your arms and your chest. Slowly, I get up and kneel before you and place my hands on your inner thighs. My hands stroking the denim of your jeans. I ask you to relax and say there are no strings attached. I just want to please you. I place my hand on your zipper and feel your hardness. As we make eye contact, I sense you are nervous, there is no need to be. I look up at you, my eyes pleading for permission to.
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